Luke, Ben, Morgan, and I got to the hospital at 11 am today. We went through security and straight to his room. Room 764- one we have not been in before. Tests, more rules to go over, med education (again and again and again) and we are slowly “settling in.” I don’t want to call it settling in because we are not settling. We are doing this and getting on with life.

I said goodbye to my Mas this morning. No bueno. He and my family will have a great time together though. GG continues to be my rock. Crazy Ant Ancy arrives Tuesday so who the heck knows what kind of ridiculousness they will all get into. Mas will also head back to school in-person tomorrow which I know he has missed. We definitely did our best to make the most out of our time together. Hikes, walks, golf, games, workouts, movies & shows, puzzles, and a LOT of food filled most of our time, when we weren’t going back and forth to the hospital. That all sounds lovely and calm (minus the hospital part), but it has been tremendously challenging mentally. The anticipation is awful. I’m doing my best to stay strong but feel like I may break at any point. And I have. I have definitely had my moments. But I have to KEEP FUCKING GOING!

We got to escape the room around 1:30 today and went outside to some sunshine around the hospital grounds. Luke is not allowed to leave his unit from now until certain thresholds, which will be a long time. There was and still is much angst in our hearts and minds. We stayed outside until 5:30. Came back to the room for more consults, starting more meds, and then we walked Morgan out to say goodbye. We will get to see her on Friday but it was a very different “see you in five” days goodbye. We love our Morgan so very much. Makes me cry just writing about any of this. It is just surreal being here, finally getting to this point, and then the unknown of what’s to come. But that’s where we find our faith. Luke is strong in his faith, his mind, and his heart. I’ll stop there for now.

Luke and I have not opened a card received in the mail since around Feb. 10th. Thinking we would be getting to this point much earlier, we saved them to enjoy and light up our room and hearts during transplant. We opened them all this evening. Thank you so much. So many words of encouragement with sincerest love sent. We feel them and are so grateful.

Luke has started a med to protect his kidneys, an anti-seizure med due to side effects of one of the chemos he will receive, and his anti-nausea meds. Those will be timed throughout the night to prepare him for chemo. He will start chemo at 5 am with fludarabine transfused for 30 minutes and then busulfan at 6 am transfused for 3 hours.

So, I am going to attempt some sleep now but will do my best to keep everyone updated. I am grateful to have so many people supporting us throughout this journey.

Buckets and buckets and buckets of prayers. Strength.

Suz